Ancient Britons

I am not sure if I offered , or was volunteered, to provide some entertainment for this party... I rather fear that the former is true. However, afterwards it was suggested that the two “Numbers” included could be of interest in the Oxhill News, so that others might raise a Christmas smile on reading them. Firstly this which was sent to me by Jill Jeffrey whom many of you will know:

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1920’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s & 70’s!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a tin and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma our baby cribs were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking...

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died.

We ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank pope with sugar in it, but we weren’t overweight because... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day until the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were okay.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on Sky, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobiles, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms.... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt and the worms did not live in us forever.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put our very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell or just yelled for them!

Football teams had trials and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them!

We had the luck to grow up before lawyers and the government regulate our lives for our own good. How brave we were to survive it all.

CONGRATULATIONS!

And finally the VERY best way was saved till last when Ruth, Ros and I were going to SING. (So this was the time for those who found something very pressing to do to leave. No one did!)

When Julia Andrews was 70 she commemorated her birthday at an event in Manhattan by singing “My Favourite Things” from the Sound of Music. She changed the words and so have we with suitable anglicised alternations.

No one under the age of 60 will be slightest bit interested in any of the above, as it does not apply to them!

Myrtle Knight

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings
Bundles of magazines tied up in string
These are a few of my favourite things.

Bus passes, cataracts, hearing aids and glasses
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses
Pacemakers, zimmers and extra loud rings
These are a few of our favourite things.

When the pipes leak, when the bones creak
When knees go bad
We simply remember our favourite things
And then we don’t feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions
Specsavers, bath-aids and hot meals they bring
These are a few of our favourite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin’
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’
And we won’t mention our short shrunken frames
When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break
When the eyes grow dim
Then we remember the great life we’ve had
And then we don’t feel so bad.

This site is maintained by villagers of Oxhill for the benefit of the community and those interested in the history, news and activities that make the village such a pleasant place to live.

Send mail to the editor of the Oxhill News at news-editor @ oxhill.org.uk.

Last modified: January 10, 2012